"Good evening, sir. I would like to consult with you a dream I had today which I feel is of great importance in my present situation. If you have the time to read it, I will be deeply grateful.
"June 18, during the day.
"I was not able to write it down right upon waking because I had to eat for iftar first. "I was with H. (a law student from another school in the city) in what looks like an open auditorium to me. Some friends were teasing because he appears to have a crush on me. So did I in that particular dream. I felt the same way towards him. He was not showing much affection but I somehow knew he cared for me. We were walking; he was right beside me. We went upstairs a sturdy staircase, then went down before finally arriving in our destination. That auditorium was more like inside a mall. I bought something at Watson's. Apparently, I got more than what I paid for when the Cashier mistakenly wrapped the things I took, but later on decided, not to purchase. I did not pay for it. I discreetly took it even though I knew of the case. I left my two bags by the counter (one which I paid for on top of the one I did not). I left it with the thought it might send warning alarms ringing because of the unpaid items. Sneaky, I know.
"*Little segue interpretation just so I do not forget. H. is a law student from another school. This dream may suggest my law school life. I may have been cheating on myself, to carry on in my present school. The items I bought were my tuition fees that I paid for. I did not pay the obvious free bag that I got but still grabbed it. Dean initially allowed me to enroll even if there was a possibility that I may have flunked a few subjects last semester that could cause me to be kicked out of the program. That was the free bag, I guess. I was hesitant to bring it over or to carry on as it may give warnings that could put embarrass me in school in worst case scenario. I fear that I may not be able to continue studying in my present school because of the subjects I flunked. That is why I left the bags on the counter. I decided to go with H. Meaning, I was considering transferring to another school. It will be a smooth journey based on my dream. I will be able to obtain my law degree with ease. Except, with regret of wanting to go back and starting over.
"In my dream, I went back to where I left my bags because I felt the importance of that free bag. It only meant one thing. I will regret not making use wisely of the free bag that I got from the Dean, himself."On my way back, I was in this sort of parade where everyone looked like a puppet. Pres. Duterte is the leader. Everyone was unhappy and was just going along with his commands. There were soldiers all over the place with no faces to show. I saw H. from the 2nd storey building, watching over me in case anything goes wrong. I lost my way, though. I cannot remember exactly if I was able to get back the free bag. All I know was I was on my way back to the staircase (this time, it was not sturdy but an old rundown kind of staircase). There was a boy sitting on one of the steps. He had no face. My instinct told me that he will run after me when I get to the peak, and he did just that. He followed me through until I was able to descend the next staircase. I confronted him. He stopped. He did not actually harm me. But I did not know what he felt at the moment since he had no face to show. The rundown staircase was just a challenge for me, I thought. I instinctively tore down that particular place like a piece of paper. I tore down layer upon layers of paper until I saw the light. It was a beautiful scenery. It was like a fairytale come true. That concluded that particular dream.
"Other parts of the dream which are not related or have different themes include:"1. There was a study lamp on the table, a bright one. I improvised and put a glass-like bulb below it to make it even brighter. "2. I was with my nephew running on the mud. Someone was chasing us. "3. I rode a tricycle when the driver brought me somewhere I was not familiar with. His tricycle broke down so I left. He was whipping me with a human-sized hair tie and told me to go back. I was crying. I said I will because I had no intention of going elsewhere. The crying felt like an act, though. *This particular dream rooted from an unpleasant experience I had commuting which I had to act to be safe.
"Then there was this dream that included my parents which I could not remember. The weird thing is, it was the dream that I had right before waking up. I am still trying to remember what it's about."I realized, Sir Tony, that more than what I want to admit, I need help. I cannot seem to break free from my self-destructive behavioral pattern. I lost the will to fight for my dreams. I used to love to improve on every aspect in my life. I just lost the will to do so now. I have been considering your suggestion to look for an open-minded psychologist. I just have not find one yet whom I could talk to without fearing to be judged. I know only a handful of psychologists in the area, and I am not particularly close to any one of them. Am I manifesting any sort of mental illness?"
Your interpretation of the first part of the dream is correct. The dreamer is usually the best interpreter of his/her dream.
Note that, in most of your dreams, there is usually a staircase leading to an upper floor (your higher consciousness), and that the dreams set there are direct messages from your psyche. You and H. are one and the same person--you the trickster part of yourself and H. the sober and responsible part of yourself. The boy without a face is also you. He represents your future, which you are still unable to satisfactorily define.
The episode about the parade seems to indicate your awareness that, while you would like to obtain a law degree and have a successful career, you see that you live in a country in which your practice of law may not be as fulfilling as you want it to be because many people are like puppets who act mechanically and do not think for themselves. Your tearing down the scene that follows reflects the defense mechanism denial.
Your act of making the study lamp brighter is a good thing. It shows your positive attitude toward higher learning.
The episode in the tricycle means that you have no recourse but to stay where you are and continue studying well. Just in case you have been feeling that you are in the wrong country.
You could not recall the final episode, involving your parents, because it might have been painful for your ego to remember it. This could mean that, thus far, you have been a disappointment to your parents, perhaps because of your uncertainty or lack of direction. Or maybe they do not share the same vision that you have for yourself.
Dreams are never indications of mental illness especially if their messages are clear. They are beacons in themselves and function as psychological guides. I suggest that you read up on dreamwork and dream analysis, beginning with the works of Strephon Kaplan Williams.